Pokerwiner.com → Within poker principles
Therapist: What else?
Patient: Hmm, I guess I really felt sort of demeaned.
Therapist: What did you hear him saying to you with his giggling?
Patient: Well, I guess it was like he was saying, “You’re nothing. Fool, I just stomped on you in that poker hand.”
Therapist: Like he was belittling you.
Patient: Yeah. Like he was just spitting on me or on any ability I have as a poker player.
Therapist: Your ability as a poker player is something you’re proud of. You really have some of your self-esteem invested in it. And it was like he was just laughing at it. Made you feel like a nothing.
Patient: Yes, and I felt like everyone else there had to be seeing me as a real chump.
Therapist: How so?
Patient: Well, like they saw him really stick it to me and so they probably saw me as just this poor defeated victim or something.
Therapist: Do you think that’s how they really saw you? Tell me, if you saw one player draw out with such a long shot as that on another player, what a clues player he is. Okay, I see your point.
Patient: Heh. Guess I’d be thinking about how badly the winner had played, what a clueless player he is. Okay, I see your point.
Therapist: Tell me, when he giggled, and you felt as demeaned as you described, did that feel anything like the occasions you’ve described in the past, when your bad used to tease you in front of the rest of your family?And so on. The idea is simply that there is often more involved than is readily apparent on the surface. To the extent that we can observe in ourselves what is really fueling our intense surface reactions, we will have more of a handle on them, and they less of a handle on us. Though it is not expected to transform anyone, I hope this brief illustration helps foster some appreciation for the depth of what may really be occurring when you “go off” following a bad beat or a frustrating downswing.
AFTERTHOUGHT
Clearly, you cannot afford to act on upsetting emotions during play. This does not mean denying all feelings. I deadly, a very emotionally well adjusted player
with a healthy self-esteem and a deep understanding of the nature of the chance element and fluctuations involved in poker, will simply not react with the kinds of emotions that cause tilt. He will instead respond productively with healthy emotions to his awareness of the quality of his play. However, the unavoidable swings in poker can wear on anyone, and most players need to expend a little effort to avoid sometimes acting on the wrong feelings. Perhaps these suggestions will help you in that effort. Bear in mind that it is not enough simply to have read and understood the essays. It also takes a consistent, conscious intent to implement the ideas presented.
In time, though, they will become automatic enough that you need not keep them constantly at the forefront of your thoughts. Still, do not abandon them if you do not look forward to a return visit from the tilt monster. Whether from frank tilt or a more prolonged, subtle loss of judgment, the adverse impact of emotion on poker decisions is best conscientiously avoided.
On Tilt: Part II – The Professional Attitude / Subtle Losses of Judgment: Part I
Subtle Losses of Judgment: Part II