Pokerwiner.com → Within poker principles
4.Problems with self-esteem.
Difficulty with self-esteem may lead a poker player to form certain self-deceptions. It is not my intent here to address the topic of self-esteem, a subject which the interested reader can explore in the psychological literature. However, coming from a background in clinical psychology.
I feel compelled to share some simple observations which should be of interest to players who are affected adversely by their monetary swings. To posit a rough correlation, I would say that to the degree that one has a problem with self-esteem, one’s behaviors will reflect that problem, either in demonstrating the need to protect self-esteem, or in betraying its fragility. What this means for a online poker player is that any problem he has with self-esteem may influence his actions, thoughts, or feelings during (or about) his play. This can extend to numerous areas of the game. With regard to the kinds of flawed thinking I have described here, note that a player who has had a winning streak may seize the opportunity to conclude that he is a great player. Conversely, a good player who has been losing may react so self critically that he concludes that he really can’t play.
A player may have similar reactions to monetary swings within a single session. For instance, the intensity of the depressing effect of a downswing, described above, seems closely connected to matters of self-esteem. (*Before the reader discounts this factor as one applying only to a few individuals with unfortunate emotional problems). let me point out that my background in clinical psychology removed for me any doubt that difficulties with self-esteem are so common in our society that they approach being universal. For many these difficulties are relatively minor, but still exert some influence over their behavior. In many instances, this emotional factor may actually be the origin of the first factor described above. A player may be too narrowly focused on winning because he need to win to bolster his self-esteem.
Paradoxically, his need to win will adversely impact his play, making him more likely to lose. If you have a minor problem in this area, you may be able consciously to train yourself to separate your attitude about your short term results from your self-esteem, thereby keeping the latter from affecting your decisions. One effective way of doing this is to tie your self-esteem to the quality of your poker play rather than your results. You consciously try to feel good about good decisions during play rather than monetary outcome. Ideally (and admittedly this may be just an ideal for many players). You should be able to feel quite good about yourself after a session in which you lost badly, because you know you played consistently well that session.
This is similar to an idea Sklansky discusses in his essay, “Will Power” in Poker, Gaming & Life If you have a more significant problem with self-esteem, however, you may need to take more serious steps to resolve it. Once you are able to get beyond unnecessary concern with normal fluctuations, when someone asks you, “how are you doing?” you will be genuinely able to answer, “Who cares?” You will know that more relevant question is, “How are you playing?”
On Tilt: Part II – The Professional Attitude / Subtle Losses of Judgment: Part I Subtle Losses of Judgment: Part II / A Poker Player in Therapy